An Unconventional Alternative to Destroying the Planet

by RJ

in Random

According to Toilet Paper Encyclopedia, the average person uses 8.6 sheets per trip – a total of 57 sheets per day. That’s an annual total of 20,805 sheets. Over a lifetime of 76 years, that’s 1,581,180 sheets of toilet paper the average person goes through!

As you can expect, this isn’t good for the environment. Nor, is it good for your wallet.

Based on the average cost of a roll of toilet paper of $1.25 a roll, over your lifetime you spend over $7,906 just on toilet paper. (Assuming average roll is 250 sheets)  And that’s not even including inflation.

If you instead invested the $8.67 a month you spend on toilet paper in a Roth IRA for 76  years, you would accumulate $1,599,409 in your lifetime with a 10% return.

An Unconventional Alternative to Toilet Paper

Knowing this problem, I began looking for alternatives. For the last few months, I’ve been busy testing out alternatives to traditional toilet paper. Without a doubt, the best solution has been the squat toilet.
A squat toilet, which is pictured to the right, is different from the traditional American Toilet in that it isn’t raised. Instead one hovers over a squat toilet, as our ancestors did.

This natural squatting position has many advantages, including:

  • Reduces the need for toilet paper
  • The toilet is easier to clean and maintain
  • It’s more sanitary as, no touching is required

Overall, using a squat toilet makes going to the bathroom easier, cleanlier, and cheaper.

Even better, if a squat toilet cuts your toilet paper use in half, that’s $790,590 more you can accumulate by investing in a Roth IRA for 76 years.

How to Buy a Squat Toilet

Luckily, there is an easy way you can experiment with squat toilet. I recommend starting with a pedestal squat toilet. A pedestal toilet sits above your traditional toilet and lets you test out the squatting method. These can be had for under $100.

If you enjoy using your pedestal and recognize the hundreds of thousands of dollars it can save you in your lifetime, your best off getting a professionally installed squat toilet like the once pictured to the right.


I hope by now you realize this is an April Fool’s joke. I have never used or seen a squat toilet. I just find the concept funny.

What is pretty interesting is that $8.67 invested monthly for 76 years at 10% really is $1,599,409.

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

BrunoNo Gravatar April 1, 2011 at 9:49 am

You really got me fooled
one of the best april fool’s day pranks ever


RJNo Gravatar April 1, 2011 at 10:10 am

Thanks. (:


Jonathan HarmsNo Gravatar April 1, 2011 at 2:24 pm

You got me. That’s good! First, I laughed out loud that you were writing about this! Then I started arguing with you a little on the sanitation; it’s a trade off you know. Sure, there is no touching involved, but increased distance = a higher chance to miss a little bit…


RJNo Gravatar April 1, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Thanks Jonathan. I had to laugh out loud upon reading your comment. Have a good weekend.


Jonathan HarmsNo Gravatar April 1, 2011 at 4:00 pm

How do I get my picture to show up in the comments?


RJNo Gravatar April 1, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Create a Gravatar


Charlotte EdwardsNo Gravatar April 1, 2011 at 7:30 pm

I knew this was a joke, but laughed while reading it! But these DO exist…in China. I use one almost everyday when out and about. (Fortunately my house has a Western toilet.) Actually the one in your photo looks similar to the ones in KFC! Good prank, probably the best one I saw this year.


RJNo Gravatar April 2, 2011 at 10:59 am

Thanks Charlotte.


Yulia RinaldiNo Gravatar April 1, 2011 at 10:46 pm

Hi RJ!
How was your experience with
I see you changed your logo a little bit.
Sorry I’m not on a subject..))


RJNo Gravatar April 2, 2011 at 11:01 am

It was good. Probably not going to get anything cheaper.

The only problem I ran into, which was totally my fault, was that I wasn’t specific enough in my description. I was looking specifically for a header image with certain parameters, but didn’t mention that in my description. Just a lesson if you’re going to use it to design your blog.


Yulia RinaldiNo Gravatar April 2, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Thanks, RJ! I just requested a logo there.


Pat S.No Gravatar April 2, 2011 at 11:08 am

You got me with that one too! If you are a Motley Fool reader, they had a great April Fool’s day joke this year too… might be worth checking out!


shandorNo Gravatar May 26, 2011 at 11:50 am

Not a good April Fools joke since these are the best method for your health. While Western societies stay ignorant of this information, disease rates continue to climb. While it may seem odd, you really should research it.


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